≡ Menu

Channeled by Daniel Scranton

“Greetings. We are the Arcturian Council. We are pleased to connect with all of you.

We are very interested in seeing what you will all do with these solstice energies that are already upon you. You have many different uses for the energies, and as we have previously mentioned, you are getting third eye chakra upgrades that will impact your pineal glands and open you up to more inter-dimensional contact. However, that was just a piece of the June solstice story. There are other energies that are coming in, energies that are meant to support you in becoming the leaders of the awakened, the teachers to the newly awakened, and the activators to the un-awakened.

These energies will inspire you to do things that you have been meaning to do in regards to putting yourselves out there as teachers, healers, channels, and guides. You may think that there are already enough humans doing this at this time, but there can never be too many of you who are seeking to be of service to the light, of service to humanity. When you are awakened, you get a sense that you were meant for something big, something much bigger than your own spiritual evolution, and at times you have wondered what exactly that would be.

Perhaps you have even asked beings and collectives, or your guides, for some type of indication as to what you could be doing to serve humanity better, but you were not given the details that you so desired. Some of you needed to develop a bit more, and others of you needed to find your voice or to stabilize in other areas of your lives. Whatever the reason was that kept you from stepping out and stepping up as the leaders of the new age community that you most certainly are, these June 2021 solstice energies are meant to support you on your journey to becoming the light-worker that you know you are.

Many of you have been working behind the scenes, working on the grids, on the ley lines, doing healing work from a distance, holding space for humanity, and we have told you on several occasions that there would come a time when others would seek out your assistance. We want you to know that the time is coming, because the un-awakened are being affected by these energies of the solstice as well. Everyone is up-leveling and upgrading at this time, because it is time for humanity to know yourselves differently, to know yourselves as you truly are, to begin to take those final steps to becoming your higher selves in this lifetime.

You are there to shift your consciousness, and you are there to do it as a collective, and every single one of your fellow humans still has the option to go along with the ascension. And with your help, they most certainly can.

We are the Arcturian Council, and we have enjoyed connecting with you.”

Copyright © 2021, Daniel Scranton.  Republished with permission.

June 22nd – Advanced Group Channeling Class w/The 9D Arcturian Council – Register Here

watch daniel scranton channel on youtubemake a donation here - daniel scranton channelingdaniel scranton's master courses - learn to channel
{ 0 comments }

Channeled by Daniel Scranton

“Greetings. We are the Arcturian Council. We are pleased to connect with all of you.

We are gathering enough data to support all humans on all timelines, in all realities and universes. We have broadened the scope of the help that we are offering at this time to include those humans who do not exist in your reality, on your timeline, or in your universe right now. We want you to understand how significant that is, because as all versions of you are assisted, you benefit. You are not just growing as the individual that is in your physical body right now. Even past and future versions of you are helping you to evolve and ascend.

Therefore, you can take the weight of the world off of your shoulders. You can relax more and know that your evolution is a natural process. It doesn’t have to be a struggle. It doesn’t have to include you going through a series of trials and tribulations. It can be quite smooth and easy. As you begin to understand that your evolution of consciousness is inevitable and that it benefits al beings throughout all universes, you can also accept the idea that you don’t have to do anything at this time. You don’t have to prove your worthiness to ascend.

Yes, you are there to help, but the help that you bring to other humans is through the up-leveling of your consciousness; it is not through the completion of tasks. Now, as we have been focusing on these other versions of you, we have come to appreciate this human collective consciousness that we are addressing right now through the channel here.

We are very impressed with your growth and evolution; we know that our energy transmissions have helped, but there are also many other wonderful teachers out there who are assisting you in raising your vibration and becoming more of who you really are. You already are your fifth-dimensional selves, and in every moment of every day you are recognizing that truth and letting go of ideas, thoughts, beliefs, and stuck energies that hold you back from knowing yourselves as your true selves.

Imagine that you are very hot. It is a particularly hot and humid day, and you are wearing several layers of clothing, including some pretty thick ones. The way that some humans go about cooling off is to begin the process of building an air conditioner from scratch when the easier and faster way is to just remove the layers and layers of clothing. That’s what we are telling you right now. That is the case with your spiritual evolution. It doesn’t have to be hard, and you don’t have to go about it in the most challenging of ways. You don’t have to prove yourselves to be smart or capable of figuring out how to build an air conditioner, or anything else, from scratch.

Take the easy route, and make it a point to consciously tune in to all of those other selves and what they are receiving right now, what they have been able to achieve in terms of their vibration, and know that you are also helping every single one of these other yous. You are always being of service, no matter how it might look, and just by receiving this transmission right now, you are helping yourselves, all other humans, and all of the other yous throughout the multiverse. This is a wonderful time to be alive and in a human body on Earth, because of all of this help and all of the transformation that will follow.

We are the Arcturian Council, and we have enjoyed connecting with you.”

Copyright © 2021, Daniel Scranton.  Republished with permission.

June 22nd – Advanced Group Channeling Class w/The 9D Arcturian Council – Register Here

watch daniel scranton channel on youtubemake a donation here - daniel scranton channelingdaniel scranton's master courses - learn to channel
{ 0 comments }

Channeled by Daniel Scranton

“Greetings. We are the Arcturian Council. We are pleased to connect with all of you.

We are totally and completely engaged in all of the goings on there on planet Earth. We have been following your stories for quite some time, and we are very interested in capturing the essence of what it means to be human and living on Earth at this time. We want to know what it feels like for all of you to have the experiences that you have, and when we gather that emotional data, we are able to then co-create with you better circumstances that will help you to access higher-vibrational states.

Everything in the universe is co-creation. Everything that occurs happens by agreement, and one of the agreements that you all have is with us. We are here to assist; we are here to help you create a better-feeling reality for all of humankind. And that is why we are much more likely to work with you if your aim is to create a better reality for all than if it is just something that you are interested in as an individual. But we also do recognize that there is a ripple effect that occurs when we help one of the helpers. And so, if you are one who helps other human beings, and you have a desire for yourself, like a romantic relationship, we certainly do everything that we can to be of assistance.

We are studying the effects of the new realities that are created, even before they have a chance to be experienced by you. They still have an essence of their own that we can explore, and many of you try out these new realities when you are not in your bodies at night. It is like you are at a clothing store, and we are the sales clerks, and you are trying on outfits and telling us how they feel to you.

This cooperation is what being linked together is all about for all beings throughout this universe and beyond. We take our role very seriously, while also attempting to always have fun, and you all are doing your part when you focus on whatever the new desire is that you have hatched up, and you are also being of service every time you feel one of your emotions, because again, we get to collect that data.

And we are not the only ones who are working with you in this way. We all compare notes here in the higher realms, and everyone has a different perspective and a different approach on how to best help humanity. But this you can know for certain; we are all attempting to help you all the time and in every imaginable way.

You are the children of the universe, and we are your doting grandparents, and we also are your co-creators who see you as valuable members of this universe. And many of you are contributing so much because of what you have agreed to live and experience in your human earthly lifetimes. We are very, very appreciative of each and every one of you, and we would like for you to feel that appreciation and see if you can also appreciate yourselves.

We are the Arcturian Council, and we have enjoyed connecting with you.”

Copyright © 2021, Daniel Scranton.  Republished with permission.

TONITE – 3-Week Light Languages Course – Starts June 16th – Register Here

watch daniel scranton channel on youtubemake a donation here - daniel scranton channelingdaniel scranton's master courses - learn to channel
{ 0 comments }

Channeled by Daniel Scranton

“Greetings. We are the Arcturian Council. We are pleased to connect with all of you.

We are aware of the many instances where humankind was on a more direct path of ascension and where exactly you got sidetracked on those journeys of your collective. Once individuals gain a certain amount of knowledge and develop their skills and abilities, they then have the option of sharing what it is that they have come to master. They can share it and teach others how to do it, or they can see themselves as having more power over others as a result of their mastery over energy and vibration, and they can keep it for themselves.

And when they do this, they also seek to keep that knowledge, that wisdom, away from their fellow humans. People love to feel special. And one of the ways that people have been able to feel special is when they hone their abilities, when they attain spiritual gifts. And so, if they were to then share what was shared with them with everyone else, they would not feel as special and they would not have as much power. And this is what has happened throughout human history there on Earth, but now the times are changing.

Information cannot be held back from the masses anymore. You all have the option of learning about the various tools and spiritual practices that will bring you into greater alignment with Source and give you that mastery over energy that you all want. You have so many teachers on your world today who seek to empower their fellow humans, and this is a very good sign. Those who want to hold on tight to their power and to that knowledge, that information, they are having a very hard time right now, because they can see how futile their efforts are.

You all are accessing exactly what you need to and when you need to, and it is a very exciting time to be a human being there on planet Earth. If you truly want to ascend, to be your higher selves, to be fifth dimensional, then you will share when you can, and you will teach anyone who is ready to be taught. You will seek the advancement, the evolution, of each and every one of your fellow humans. There is power in numbers, and your numbers are multiplying every single day. The more of you that have the power, that have the abilities, the closer you get to the fifth dimension.

So don’t just wait for your fellow humans to catch up to where you are and where you have been for quite some time; guide them. Give them the tools that they need, and invite them to exist in the higher frequency state that you have been so fortunate to have found.

We are the Arcturian Council, and we have enjoyed connecting with you.”

Copyright © 2021, Daniel Scranton.  Republished with permission.

3-Week Light Languages Course – Starts June 16th – Register Here

watch daniel scranton channel on youtubemake a donation here - daniel scranton channelingdaniel scranton's master courses - learn to channel
{ 0 comments }

Channeled by Daniel Scranton

“Greetings. We are the Arcturian Council. We are pleased to connect with all of you.

We are letting you in on as much as we can at this time, because certain information that we have obtained would be interference if it were shared with you at this time. There is a reason why the non-interference rule is in place for humanity. You must be allowed to evolve on your own, and we have seen your history and know what happens when attempts are made to nudge you forward.

This is a time when you must discover that everything you need is inside of you. Therefore, even seeing spaceships in the sky and being visited by e.t.s, even being taken aboard a ship, all pale in comparison to what you can experience when you close your eyes and you focus inwardly.

When you open up to your own infinite and eternal nature, you will realize that you never needed any information, and nor have you ever needed any intervention. You have access to Source, which means you have access to everything when you look inside of you, and you also have an unlimited capacity to create realities and experience those realities. So yes, the physical is quite exciting, and the physical experiences you can have are intoxicating, sometimes quite literally.

But if you are waiting for experiences with extraterrestrials to convince you that something good is happening there on Earth, we invite you to wait no longer. You have extraterrestrial DNA inside of you. You have memories of your lives as extraterrestrial beings inside of you, and you can experience your multidimensional self by going within. The outer will always reflect the inner, and so the more exploring you do of your infinite and eternal nature, the more the outside world will open up to you, and you can have those experiences of UFOs and e.t. encounters. You can ride as many spaceships as you want to.

But you are more interesting to physical e.t.s when you first recognize who you really are as beings of eternal and infinite light and love. When you expand your idea, your concept of who you are, everything you want to experience will open up to you in radical ways that your mind could not have possibly imagined. So if you seek more experiences with e.t.s, start with yourselves.

We are the Arcturian Council, and we have enjoyed connecting with you.”

Copyright © 2021, Daniel Scranton.  Republished with permission.

STARTS Wednesday – 3-Week Light Languages Course – Starts June 16th – Register Here
watch daniel scranton channel on youtubemake a donation here - daniel scranton channelingdaniel scranton's master courses - learn to channel

{ 0 comments }

Channeled by Daniel Scranton

“Greetings. We are the Arcturian Council. We are pleased to connect with all of you.

We are placing a great deal of our emphasis at this time on repairing the damage that has been done to your planet, because you and Earth are woven together, interconnected in ways that cannot be severed. And while we always seek to help you, the human collective, we also must look to the Earth, for she is the one carrying you on this journey and supplying you with so much of what you need to be alive, to be human. We have been working on repairing her energy grids, as well as the atmosphere, and of course we are looking to help with the clean up from all of the pollution.

And we can do this because we have the permission of all of the higher selves of humanity. You are allowed to ask for help and to receive it, and if physical e.t.s did too much of this work, they might be interfered with, they might not get it right, or there might be some other complication from using physical tools to fix a problem that was created by holding a lower consciousness. If you held a higher consciousness, you would never want to do harm to your planet. You would respect the planet, the plants, the animals, the waterways, the food supply.

Instead, humanity has gotten so far off course that you need help, and there are enough humans who realize this, and have asked for help, that we can respond. The consciousness has shifted within so many there on your world, and it is time for your world to start reflecting that. One person can feel completely overwhelmed by the amount of damage that has been done, but you don’t have to feel that way anymore, because you have help.

And when you look for problems on planet Earth, you are certain to find more and more and more. That is why we are calling upon all of you to change your perspective. Don’t be hopeless and in fear about Earth’s current set of circumstances, and instead, look for what is pristine, what is beautiful and inspiring within Mother Nature.

And feel the love that Earth has for you, as she too looks to rebalance herself. She wants all of you to come with her on this journey to a higher state of consciousness. You are her children now, and she knows that a lot of the problems that you have caused were set into motion by others, by all the extra-terrestrial beings who have tinkered with your DNA. She knows that you would have evolved quite nicely without all of that intervention, and she forgives you.

And if she can forgive you, then you can forgive the e.t.s who meant well, but who did more harm than good. You are in for a much more peaceful and harmonious future there on Earth, and we are just doing our part. We just answer the call, but you all can take credit for sending out the signals, telling us and others like us what you need. We all work together as a team in this galaxy, in this universe, and within Source Energy.

We are the Arcturian Council, and we have enjoyed connecting with you.”

Copyright © 2021, Daniel Scranton.  Republished with permission.

3-Week Light Languages Course – Starts June 16th – Register Here
watch daniel scranton channel on youtubemake a donation here - daniel scranton channelingdaniel scranton's master courses - learn to channel

{ 0 comments }

Channeled by Daniel Scranton

“Greetings. We are the Arcturian Council. We are pleased to connect with all of you.

We are continuing to do our research on humanity, because we love helping you and because we love getting to know ourselves better through you. We understand that this may be something that you all do at times, subconsciously, but we advise you to do it more consciously. Don’t just see everything and everyone as bringing you some sort of mirror to hold up to yourself, and don’t just see them as your teachers who are showing you what you still need to grasp a bit better. See them as examples of what exists inside of you and what you could potentially be. And we are talking about this both from the positive and negative perspectives.

So if you see someone who is very successful and has the type of exciting life that you want to have, you must see that you are being shown that example as a possibility for yourself if you do want to live that particular life. If you look at that person and wonder how they got so lucky, or who their parents must have been to give them such a perfect life, then you are missing the point.

They are you, existing in a different body, and you don’t have to get to where they are through the same series of steps. So you don’t have to tell yourself a story about how you didn’t get all of the same advantages that they did. You don’t have to tell yourself that there is no way you could possibly be living that type of lifestyle because of your background. Instead, you want to tell yourself that, ‘If it is possible for that aspect of Source, then it is possible for me, because I am also an aspect of Source.’

When you see someone, or hear about someone, who has done something quite terrible, and possibly is continuing to do terrible things, that is also a choice that exists within you, and it’s a choice you need to make peace with. You need to make peace with the darkness, because it can’t just exist outside of you, not in this holographic universe of ours. This is why we are always emphasizing forgiveness and compassion. It is not for their sake; it is for your sake. It is for your benefit.

Everyone you encounter, and everything that you see and hear and come to know, can benefit you because it’s another piece of the puzzle that is you. And if you can accept it as such and put it in its proper place, then you can become whole. But when you are in denial of something existing inside of you, you remain fragmented, you lessen your power, and you lessen your ability to become your true self.

It is time for you to let go of the illusion of separation, to stop playing that game of victim and perpetrator, us versus them, darkness versus light, and so on. This is about bringing it all together inside of you, one harmonious whole, and loving every bit of yourself. That is the way to heal you and them. That is the way to come together as one unified collective who can than shift your consciousness on that beautiful planet of yours.

We are the Arcturian Council, and we have enjoyed connecting with you.”

Copyright © 2021, Daniel Scranton.  Republished with permission.

Light Languages for Healing, Creating Your Reality & Channeling – A Three-Week Course – Register Here

watch daniel scranton channel on youtubemake a donation here - daniel scranton channelingdaniel scranton's master courses - learn to channel
{ 0 comments }
Stanford University Entrance

This thought: Seek the greatest understanding and serve the highest good, took more than two years to surface in my mind after I asked the Universe of All That Is the following question: What is my deepest impulse or feeling tone? I asked this question in response to a suggestion Seth made in one of his books. He wanted us, his readers, to use our inner senses to see for ourselves that we’re more than we normally think. When the answer arrived several years later, it was in the form of a male voice speaking inside my mind.

Since this profound realization, other similar versions of this thought or suggestion have shown themselves. Wake up, wise up, and rise up to greater awareness and understanding is one. It too, came to me in the form of a voice inside my mind, although it was limited to just: wake up, wise up, and rise up at the time. The rest of it, …to greater awareness and understanding, came later because the first part felt incomplete. Let love and understanding be the light and your way is another idea that I associate with Seek the greatest understanding and serve the highest good.

With principles, or friends, like these, no wonder my goal in life is what it is:

Ultimate FrontierFor more on this discussion, click on the “Guiding Principles” link under Pete’s Story Room heading in the menu above the Real Talk World logo.

Roger A. Peterson (Pete)  https://realtalkworld.com

“We cannot solve our problems with the same thinking we used when we created them.” – Albert Einstein

“You never change things by fighting the existing reality. To change something, build a new model that makes the existing model obsolete.” ― R. Buckminster Fuller

What others will not or cannot do for us, we must do for ourselves.

Create your own Story Room. Start with ideas from Pete’s Story Room and The LifeSong Store

{ 0 comments }

Channeled by Daniel Scranton

“Greetings. We are the Arcturian Council. We are pleased to connect with all of you.

We are not the experts on living life on Earth in a physical human body. You are the experts in that arena of existence, and that is why there is so much attention on Earth at this time. There are many reasons, actually, but so many are observing you for the purposes of learning. They want to know more about you and more about themselves through you. You are a fascinating race because you have decided to incarnate in a very polarized world, with so many emotions to feel and with that forgetting of who you really are as Source Energy Beings.

This is why it is so phenomenal that you are on the verge of so many massive changes there on Earth, changes that will lead to the eventual completion of the shift. No one can do it for you. We can observe, and we can help, but you are still the ones who ultimately have to face those fears and overcome those challenges that you placed in front of yourselves. And you deserve the help that you get, because Earth as it is today would not be that way without extra-terrestrial intervention. There have been times when you all have been given technology and instructions on how to use it, and then you have misused it, and entire civilizations had to be wiped out as a result.

So whose fault is it then? Is it the fault of the humans who misused what they were given? If you handed a gun to a toddler, would you blame the toddler for the results? And so, the help that is coming now is very karmic; it is designed to make up for those mistakes. Your spiritual evolution would have gone so much more smoothly if there had never been intervention by e.t.s who were well meaning. And so, you are now being given upgrades, upgrades that will assist you in not only remembering who you are and who you have been, but they will also assist you in recognizing that all the technology you need is inside of you.

You don’t need a time machine or a teleportation device. You don’t need a med bed. You don’t need any of the gadgets that you currently are in possession of in order to connect with one another, because you are all connected, and if you were to rely more heavily on your gifts, your built-in technology, you would all be telepathic by now. In some ways, the machines help you because you don’t have to do as much in order to live a comfortable life, and you can devote more time to your spirituality. But then there are always the cases of humans going overboard with that technology, and these upgrades are going to help you all achieve a balance that is necessary in order for you to get back to the biggest journey that you have, and that is the journey within.

We are the Arcturian Council, and we have enjoyed connecting with you.”

Copyright © 2021, Daniel Scranton.  Republished with permission.

Light Languages for Healing, Creating Your Reality & Channeling – A Three-Week Course – Register Here

watch daniel scranton channel on youtubemake a donation here - daniel scranton channelingdaniel scranton's master courses - learn to channel
{ 0 comments }

The Chemistry of Blame

By Gay Hendricks

There is a great fundamental issue that overrides many of the things we can do to heal ourselves and the world: the human tendency to step into feeling like a victim and blaming others, instead of taking personal responsibility.

It’s not just a habit; it’s an addiction, just like a chemical addiction. When you step into the victim position by pointing the finger of blame, you short the circuitry in yourself that allows you to feel the natural organic ecstasy of fully standing in a co-creative position with the universe itself. That’s the fundamental developmental task we face at this stage of our evolution: opening up the wiring that allows us to feel organic ecstasy for longer and longer periods of time.

At present, most people can’t sustain the feelings that arise with this opening, so they slip into a dangerous addiction to blame with its corresponding feeling of a gleeful gotcha! Once we’re accustomed to a certain internal chemical state, we feel comfortable with that state even if it’s attached to really dysfunctional behavior like that glee that arises from apportioning blame.

When we try new behavior and our neurochemistry changes, it feels uncomfortable at first. Moving to a new emotional and biochemical state may feel foreign. Even though it may be a healthier one, it is unfamiliar.

Usually in couples therapy, the first issue to be addressed is: Are you willing to make a commitment to solving the problem? One of the most typical responses is, “Well, I’d be committed if she were.” It takes about an hour and a half of discussion to work through that objection, until at some point in the process, both people bond and turn on the leader.

I tell my students that those are the only moments during which you’re earning your keep as a therapist. Both members of the couple turn to you and say, “Hey, what the hell are you suggesting here? Are you suggesting that it’s not his fault?” That’s always a sweaty moment, but it’s the instant when transformation can come. Once you’re through that issue, the possibility of getting out of the field of blame and actually taking responsibility opens up.

“Are you willing to stay completely away from blaming anyone, and instead make a sincere commitment to resolving all the issues we confront?” I’ve asked that question of thousands of people, many of whom had traveled great distances to visit to me, or were paying me very large sums of money.

Even with stakes that high, ninety-nine times out of a hundred, the person goes into the default position of blame immediately. Weaning people from that automatic behavior takes a great deal of patience and repetition, and a nimble set of therapeutic interventions.

The tendency to default to blame is the huge issue confronting couples and societies today. Wherever you see it appear, that’s the area where healing is needed. There’s only one solution, and that’s to take 100% impeccable responsibility – and create a space for the other person to take 100% impeccable responsibility as well. Responsibility has a contagious effect.

The initial level of responsibility is going from blame to being willing to consider what you’re getting out of – or contributing to – the problem. Senior level responsibility is being so impeccably clear that you become a space into which it’s possible for other people to step.

You then have to confront a person’s despair that the problem is not solvable, which is always accompanied by about fifteen levels of justification. But when both people have made a commitment to resolving the issue, 90% of the work is done. Both people have then stepped into a co-creative role with not only the other, but with the Universe itself.

A particular couple comes to mind. They came to work with my wife and me on their relationship. Both partners were Ph.D.s who had written brilliant scholarly papers, but when either of them encountered anything they perceived as a threat, their academic, intellectual understanding flew out the window, and they immediately became convinced that they knew that the other person was wrong.

The first thing that we did was to repeatedly ask them if they would be willing to take responsibility for healing, and to make a commitment to solving the issues. When confronted with the question, they would spin out and become more entrenched in the position that it was the other person’s fault. They had endless justifications for this certainty, and thus continually dosed themselves with this highly addictive drug.

It took all of the first day and well into the night to produce a shift, but in the middle of the night, the husband couldn’t sleep. His anxiety got worse and worse. In a state of desperation, he said, “Okay, I’m willing to commit to solving this problem.” That created a space for the wife to commit to the same thing. The next morning, they came in willing to solve the problem.

In a nutshell, the problem was that she had had a sexual affair and he couldn’t forgive her. They’d gone ’round and ’round with it for the better part of a year. On the second day of therapy, the reason he couldn’t get over it became really clear.

One of the questions that I commonly ask people is, “Has anything like this ever happened to you or anyone you know?” At first the husband said, “No,” but then, as we got deeper into the question, it turned out not only was the real answer, “Yes,” but his entire early life had been shaped by his mother running off with another man and leaving his dad with four little boys to raise.

It was inevitable that his wife’s infidelity, or something like it, was bound to happen to him, because he had so thoroughly sealed off this early experience.

When we seal something off from our consciousness inside, it has to be brought to our attention in some way by the outside world. Suddenly, he realized that his wife was illuminating this old experience, and he said to her, “Oh, you played this role in my life for me.” At the end of the second day they were in each other’s arms.

She said, “This was inevitable. I had to play this role for you.” And he responded, “Yes, this was my bad dream you wandered into.” He asked her, “Can you forgive me, for getting you involved in this nutty scheme of my unconscious?” That couple represented one of the best examples I’ve ever seen of what’s possible when both people take responsibility.

There are a lot of programmed-in and even biologically-based characteristics that make human males and females different. I’m interested in what’s underneath that. The deeper you go inside, the more human beings look alike. The further you go toward the surface, the more different we look. The fear a woman feels when she’s upset about the guy not picking up his socks corresponds to the fear the man feels when he’s upset that she’s on his case. The superficial differences point to some underlying unity.

To deal with these situations, we voice our fears, then look underneath them. As a therapist, I point out repeatedly, “Okay, having said that your husband is a worthless piece of shit, tune inside. Do you feel happier?” The person begins to recognize that although they feel that “glee-gotcha” feeling that comes from assigning blame, they don’t feel happier.

So I help people make choices about whether something can make them feel happy, rather than just gleeful, by inviting them to make tiny choices that are actually huge choices. I say, “Do you choose being right or being happy?” I’ve had people come back months later and say, “I hated you for asking me that question – but it changed my life.”

And here’s the great advantage of asking this question: we each only have to make the choice once. That choice changes the whole playing field. Afterwards, it’s simply a matter of practice. It’s similar to getting on a bicycle for the first time. You travel ten feet, then wobble and fall over. But you get back on, and then you master going twenty feet. The first time was the moment in which everything changed.

It’s the same with mastering personal responsibility. Once a person shifts out of glee and experiences the real joy of claiming responsibility, everything is changed. They’re launched into the process of learning. How do they remember that they’re in that process and trigger that experience on a regular basis in everyday life? By discovering how great they feel when they do it, and how miserable they feel when they don’t.

Twenty-five years ago Kathlyn and I knew we wanted to create something different with our marriage. We looked around to find other couples to model our behavior on, but we found nobody whose relationship we would have traded for our own. We had to make up our path ourselves.

It took a long time, but now it’s been the better part of a decade since my wife or I have said one critical thing to each other. It’s years since I’ve experienced blame, since I’ve had that chemistry in my body. I am past the point where I ever want that drug, because I feel good, and I don’t want to bring myself down. We are living in that clear space of impeccable responsibility that offers the possibility for other people to step into it. We choose to be happy. It’s easy now.

*****

Note: Gay Hendricks is the author or co-author of twenty-five books in conscious relationship, conscious business, and body-mind transformation. Included are such enduring bestsellers as Conscious Loving and Conscious Living. Before founding his own institute, he was Professor of Counseling at the University of Colorado.

Over the twenty-four years of their relationship, he and his wife Kathlyn have raised two children, accumulated a million frequent flyer miles and appeared on more than 500 radio and television programs. You can see his empowering website at www.hendricks.com. The above is an edited excerpt from a compilation of essays in the enlightening book The Marriage of Sex & Spirit, edited by Geralyn Gendreau.

Explore a highly inspiring online lesson bringing this all home.

The above is an essay from one of the free Personal Growth Courses offered by PEERS

The personal growth course websites are part of the PEERS empowerment network

“Dedicated to the greatest good of all who share our beautiful world”

*****

Being and Creation is not so much about where we’ve been. It’s about where we’re going. Where are we going? Who are we being and what are we creating?

The “Note” above is from Fred Burks, creator of the PEERS empowerment network (link above). – Pete

Article republished with permission from Fred Burks (standing permission) and the Hendricks Institute.

{ 0 comments }
Translate »